I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
