At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
