i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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