Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
