I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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