god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
