I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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