Already got asked if we're dating
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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