I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
