This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
