: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
