We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
