Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
