I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's blow job season.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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