he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I smell like Dick and happiness
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize