in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
