this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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