I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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