So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
