So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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