how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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