Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
