I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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