If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
and i looked up. we had an audience...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You can't just leave with hair like that
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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