Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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