But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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