Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
