can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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