i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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