Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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