that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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