I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
