So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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