Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
