He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
