i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
