i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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