I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
