i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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