i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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