your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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