seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
