Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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