i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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