What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
