and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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