Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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