at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
