He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
