If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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