i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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